What is sex therapy?
If you’re considering sex therapy, this expert guide will help you understand what to expect, the potential benefits and if it’s actually as awkward as you fear…
Sex is a fundamental part of many romantic relationships, yet discussing it openly can feel uncomfortable—or even taboo.
Whether you're experiencing intimacy challenges, struggling with communication, or simply looking to enhance your connection, sex therapy offers a safe and supportive space to explore these topics.
If you’re curious about what sex therapy is all about, and how it could enhance your relationship, you’ve come to the right place.
What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy is a specialized form of counseling designed to address sexual concerns and strengthen intimate relationships.
“Sex therapy is an opportunity to explore the taboo,” says Hayley Schlattman, MHC-I Psychotherapy Resident.
“An opportunity to navigate the aspects of our lives that are typically kept to ourselves and remain locked away in our mind palaces.”
This type of psychotherapy encourages both partners to actively engage in the process, exploring their sexual experiences, issues, and emotions in a supportive and judgment-free space.
When should you seek sex therapy?
There is no right or wrong answer for when you should turn to sex therapy, but if you’re struggling to resolve your intimacy issues alone—it may be time to call in the professionals.
“People seek sex therapy for a plethora of different reasons,” says Schlattman.
“Someone may be seeking ways to reduce or discuss porn consumption and masturbation habits. Others may be searching for skills to minimize anxiety during sex with their partner. And some may be looking for a place to safely explore their kinks and preferences in the bedroom.”
Other reasons include sexual dysfunction concerns, such as ED, pain during sex, low libido, or premature ejaculation. Or, couples may commonly seek sex therapy if they’re going through a dry spell and are looking for professional advice to move forward in their relationship.
What do you do during sex therapy?
Sex therapy is often shrouded in mystery, with many misconceptions about what actually happens in the consultation room. However, sex therapy is a much more open, explorative, and positive experience than many couples may realize.
“Sex therapy is primarily designed to challenge the discomfort, and open up the doors for honest and empathetic conversations about sex as a whole,” says Schlattman.
“More often than not, a common theme in sex therapy sessions revolves around discussing shame and guilt for one’s sexual desires, preferences, perspectives, or experiences and challenging those emotions. Allowing clients to break the barrier of uncomfortable conversations and release themselves from the negative thought patterns while implementing acceptance of their desires.”
Even though sex is often spoken about in hushed tones, therapy can remove any shame or fear around discussing desires. Frequently opening a new chapter in the bedroom for couples.
“Many clients I have worked with have experienced internalized shame for their kinks or other aspects of their sexuality,” explains Schlattman.
“My primary goal has been to normalize the conversation around their sexual experiences and explore with curiosity what sex means to them and what makes sex feel good for them without inflicting judgment. While also finding ways for me to best support them in reaching their therapeutic goals.”
Is sex therapy awkward?
Due to constant suspicions around sex therapy, many clients assume that it’s going to be an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable experience.
While we can promise it won’t be as bad as you may think, it’s not all plain sailing!
“When working with a sex therapist, be prepared to have potentially uncomfortable and personal conversations about your sex life,” advises Schlattman.
“Our job is to explore the discomfort and normalize the experiences with empathy to your story. An impactful sex therapist will challenge you to face the uncomfortable emotions and explore yourself, but will also respect your perspectives with compassion and authenticity.”
What are the benefits of sex therapy for couples?
Committing to sex therapy is a big step in any relationship, but the benefits can’t be understated.
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“Sex therapy provides clients the ability to traverse through their complex feelings towards sex, intimacy, masturbation, sexuality, and inherently towards themselves,” explains Schlattman.
“It encourages clients to look inwards at their own experiences, beliefs, values, and yes, their sexual desires and normalize/accept those thoughts, feelings, and sexual perspectives. Sex is normal!”
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While a quick trip to sex therapy won’t solve all your problems, it’s an incredible way to invest in your intimate relationship—with untold emotional and physical benefits for your future together.
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After all, sex is a big part of romantic relationships, and should be something that you both enjoy and get pleasure from.
“Sex is supposed to feel good,” says Schlattman.
“And for those who struggle with shame and/or want to overcome these internal or external hurdles that make sex challenging, uncomfortable, or embarrassing, sex therapy can help them obtain that goal of feeling positive. Not just towards sex, but towards themselves as well.”
How to find a qualified sex therapist?
To reap all of these amazing benefits, it’s essential to find the right sex therapist for you and your relationship.
“If you are looking for a sex therapist, the biggest rule is to find someone who feels safe to talk to,” says Schlattman.
“Sex is vulnerable. So talking about sex may also leave you feeling vulnerable; you want a sex therapist who makes you feel comfortable and safe in the therapeutic space (though this can be said for any therapist) and doesn’t leave you feeling judged or criticized.”
You may not want to ask your peer group about it, but taking the time to find the right therapist can make all the difference in your progress.
“A strong sex therapist will challenge you and you may talk about things that make you feel discomfort or shame,” says Schlattman.
“However, the sex therapist will help you explore those emotions. They can support you in finding ways to break the taboo by exploring yourself and your sexuality; while respecting your boundaries and autonomy within the therapeutic space.”
Start your journey with sex therapy today with Well Psychotherapy.
This article was expert reviewed by Hayley Schlattman, MHC-I Psychotherapy Resident.
